HOW WILL I KNOW IF I MET THE PERSON I SHOULD MARRY
i read this article sometime ago from somewhere...posting it up here for my good fren alice...
The choice of a marriage partner should not bebased on "I get a warm, wonderful feeling wheneverwe're together and I want to have that warm wonderfulfeeling forever, so let's go get married".
Feelings,as we have discussed, have no logic ontheir own. They need to be acknowledged, of course,but they need considerable assistance from your brain.
Marriage means choosing the person you will spendthe rest of you life with.This, as you may haveguessed, is a very long time to spend with one person.
This person will live with you, eat meals withyou, sleep with you, and go on vacation with you. Moreimportant yet, this person will share your children.
You need to choose wisely. The decision shouldnot be made based on feelings alone. You need to askyourself some tough questions.! The decisions have tobe made on solid considerations.
Will this person be a good partner? Is she matureenough to put her own selfish desires aside to lookout for what is best for the family?
Is he prepared to be a good provider? What is histrack record? Is he responsible enough to get a goodjob and keep it?
Will this person be a good parent? Can you standthe thought of your children turning out exactly likethis person? They will, you know.
Children spend a lot of time with their parentsand consequently pick up many or most of theirparents' character traits. You had better like yourspouse's traits a lot because you will be seeing themagain in your children.
If something were to happen to you, would youcompletely trust this person, alone, with the task ofraising and forming your children?
The answers to those questions go a long waytoward forming the kind of adults they will become.Who will be answering those questions for yourchildren?
Does this person you are marrying have sexualself-control? Single people sometimes have this ideathat marriage is just some kind of lifelong sexfestival and that as long as they have each other, they will never be tempted by other people. Wrong!
There are many times in every marriage when onepartner or the other is sexually unavailable? Thereare also times when spouses, just get on each othersnerves.
At times like this, other people can seem veryappealing. That can be dangerous, because there areplenty of very attractive people out there who arewilling to make them available to married men and women.
Do you want someone who has never said "no" tosex? If he is not good at saying "no" at eighteen, itwon't be different at forty. Do you want to worryabout whether or not your spouse is being faithful?
What kind of marriage can you have with someoneyou couldn't trust on a business trip?
These are very important questions, and if you arenot comfortable with all of the answers, you shoulddefinitely not marry this person.
None if this is to say that feelings play norole at all in a marriage decision. You don't have to,"Well, I suppose that you would make a good spouse andparent, so even though I don't particularly like you Iguess I'll marry you'. You need to be happy andexcited about the prospect of spending your life withsomeone. Your brain however must acknowledge that thisperson as a good catch.
Don't listen to your heart alone or your headalone. Wait until your heart and head agree.
"Love is not about finding the right person, butcreating a right relationship.
It's not about how much love you have in thebeginning but how much love you build till the end."
The choice of a marriage partner should not bebased on "I get a warm, wonderful feeling wheneverwe're together and I want to have that warm wonderfulfeeling forever, so let's go get married".
Feelings,as we have discussed, have no logic ontheir own. They need to be acknowledged, of course,but they need considerable assistance from your brain.
Marriage means choosing the person you will spendthe rest of you life with.This, as you may haveguessed, is a very long time to spend with one person.
This person will live with you, eat meals withyou, sleep with you, and go on vacation with you. Moreimportant yet, this person will share your children.
You need to choose wisely. The decision shouldnot be made based on feelings alone. You need to askyourself some tough questions.! The decisions have tobe made on solid considerations.
Will this person be a good partner? Is she matureenough to put her own selfish desires aside to lookout for what is best for the family?
Is he prepared to be a good provider? What is histrack record? Is he responsible enough to get a goodjob and keep it?
Will this person be a good parent? Can you standthe thought of your children turning out exactly likethis person? They will, you know.
Children spend a lot of time with their parentsand consequently pick up many or most of theirparents' character traits. You had better like yourspouse's traits a lot because you will be seeing themagain in your children.
If something were to happen to you, would youcompletely trust this person, alone, with the task ofraising and forming your children?
The answers to those questions go a long waytoward forming the kind of adults they will become.Who will be answering those questions for yourchildren?
Does this person you are marrying have sexualself-control? Single people sometimes have this ideathat marriage is just some kind of lifelong sexfestival and that as long as they have each other, they will never be tempted by other people. Wrong!
There are many times in every marriage when onepartner or the other is sexually unavailable? Thereare also times when spouses, just get on each othersnerves.
At times like this, other people can seem veryappealing. That can be dangerous, because there areplenty of very attractive people out there who arewilling to make them available to married men and women.
Do you want someone who has never said "no" tosex? If he is not good at saying "no" at eighteen, itwon't be different at forty. Do you want to worryabout whether or not your spouse is being faithful?
What kind of marriage can you have with someoneyou couldn't trust on a business trip?
These are very important questions, and if you arenot comfortable with all of the answers, you shoulddefinitely not marry this person.
None if this is to say that feelings play norole at all in a marriage decision. You don't have to,"Well, I suppose that you would make a good spouse andparent, so even though I don't particularly like you Iguess I'll marry you'. You need to be happy andexcited about the prospect of spending your life withsomeone. Your brain however must acknowledge that thisperson as a good catch.
Don't listen to your heart alone or your headalone. Wait until your heart and head agree.
"Love is not about finding the right person, butcreating a right relationship.
It's not about how much love you have in thebeginning but how much love you build till the end."
